Adventures in Cosplay
by RiddlePanda
Summary: The Superior goes on vacation leaving the rest to do what they wish. However Zexion has his own little plan. Rated M for later chapters.
1. The Start of It All

**Adventures in Cosplay**

This completely random story popped into my head after an intense argument with one of my friends that I wanted to be Riku for a convention this year and hopefully Halloween. I actually know 12 people who play Kingdom Hearts so this is what me and our Demyx talked about doing after talking with the said above friend who said I couldn't be Riku. We shall call this friend Larxene because she is mean and a female dog. (I'm trying my hardest not to cuss.) My mean sis also said I couldn't be Riku because I wasn't tall enough, so I will call her Vexen cuz she's old.

Well, the night this took place, I grabbed my old graduation robe, dyed it black, sewed some stuff on it, and bleached an old wig I bought one Halloween and dyed it silvery, like Zexion. A few days later, which was funny cuz all 13 of us were in the house, Demyx helped me put on my disguise, she did the same thing with her old robe and since she can mullet her hair, she did. We walked out dressed in our disguise and I blurted out "If I can't be Riku, I'll be Zexion and me and Demyx will beat you all!" Did I mention we were on a sugar high?

Anyway, I don't own anything in this story except Zexion's hopefully completely OOC personality. I based this personality on my sugar high anime one.

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"Dear 2 through 13, I'm going on a vacation. You're on your own. Love, the Superior."

"Gee I didn't know he cared." Xigbar dripped fake sarcasm. The said members of the letter were all in the meeting room thinking now that Xigbar had finished reading the note their leader had left them. "So, what do we do now?" Demyx finally asked as everyone just was standing there looking at each other like idiots. "Redecorate? I HAVE been wanting to try out these new ideas I got watching TLC." Marluxia beamed. "No, no, NO! You will NOT redecorate this castle! You ruined the last one or don't you remember Oblivion?" Vexen grumbled. "Hey, it wasn't MY fault Sora had to run around each room 50 times and smash things to get cards and Moogle balls and build up his experience. I swear that most of that kid's adventure is just to stay in one area and fight until he reaches an insane experience level then fights us and kicks our butts because he's like level 99 or something." Marluxia then turns to look at the audience with a small grimace on his face. "You KNOW you people do that. DON'T lie!" he hisses.

"Who you talking to, Marluxia?" "Uh, no one." he laughs fakely. When Vexen turns away, Marluxia looks back at the audience. "I'm watching you." he mouths, then turns to leave the room. "I'm going to run some experiments on some stuff Xaldin brought back from Beast's Castle." Vexen teleported to his laboratory. Soon the room cleared out as each member thought to do something finally leaving Demyx and Zexion in the room. The two members looked at each other awkwardly, after all, they had never really spoken to each other before. Finally Demyx broke the silence. "Um, wanna do something?" he asked nervously. Demyx knew Zexion was a lot older mentally than him but the fact that they didn't age made Zexion look to be about his age, maybe younger. When Zexion didn't answer, Demyx began walking out of the room.

"Do you know what anime is?" Zexion asked matter of factly. Demyx turned around. "W…what?" "Anime. Do you know what anime is?" Zexion asked again. Demyx blinked. "Um, that's like Pokemon and Dragon Ball Z right?" Demyx let out a small laugh. Zexion grabbed Demyx by the arm. "It's MORE than that." he grinned. Zexion led Demyx straight to his room. Demyx gasped when he realized this. Sure he had been in Axel and Roxas' rooms and Saix's when it had been a terrible time of the month for him (something about moons and tides or something) but never dared to dream he would actually see Zexion's room. He always had a feeling that his room was different due to the fact no one knew what Zexion actually was like. He imagined everyone else's rooms were designed based on their talents. His room personally looked like an underwater aquarium music hall. Why Xemnas never sent him to Atlantica was beyond him.

They stepped inside and Demyx gasped in amazement. Every wall, even the ceiling, which used to all be white by the way, was covered in wall scrolls, unopened action figures, pictures, posters, anything you could think of anime. His bed sheets were of some anime, he had carpet that was anime, and of course no one could NOT notice the giant theater sized TV in his room along the only non decorated wall. "Woah." was all Demyx could say. "That's nothing. Check these out." Zexion had every anime and manga mentionable. Demyx's eye twitched. "Um so what are we…?" "Well, Demyx, I'm bored and I've decided to do something completely random and so unlike me and you will help." "Doing what?" Demyx gulped wide eyed as Zexion opened his closet . "Cosplay." Zexion gave that evil anime laugh.

"And why again am I doing this Zexy? It was a few hours later and the two were walking up and down the halls of the Castle that Never Was trying to draw attention. Zexion twitched at the sound of his nickname, which, in the past few hours, Demyx decided to begin calling him. The boy had a right though. It WAS Zexion's fault they were wearing anime costumes and wandering meandrously without reason throughout the castle. Demyx would have not complained as much if not for the fact he in fact looked like the very SAME person they were actually trying to beat. "You're doing this because you wanted to do something and the reason, before you ask, why you are dressed like that is because you can pull off the brown haired look better than I can." "But WHY do YOU get to be RIKU? He's always the dominant one in the relationship, even though SORA is the main character. Why the heck is that! And WHY do I HAVE to be SORA?" Demyx sank to the ground and began crying. "Hey, that's getting out of character! Sora's supposed to be happy! BE HAPPY!" Zexion hissed and began walking away. He turned around. "And call me Riku. How the hell do you think this will work if you keep calling me my real name?"

"How the hell will WHAT work!" Demyx grumbled. Zexion sighed and walked back to Demyx. "Listen, we're dressed like Riku and Sora from the very popular video game Kingdom Hearts which surprisingly is very similar to the real life events taking place at this very moment with us. Since two of the main characters are very similar to our two main nemesis's, dressing up like the characters who look like them and then messing around in the castle will make the others think that there is a breach in security around here and stop goofing off to protect the castle, thus letting Xemnas think that we can manage by ourselves and he'll take more vacations and then we won't have to listen to anymore of his stupid speeches that usually end up with Marluxia in tears, Vexen's I.Q. dropping 3 more points, Axel having to download MORE Jessie McCartney music to get Xemnas's voice out of his head, and I can have more time watching anime."

"You're only doing this for the anime time. You don't really give a crap about the others do you?" Zexion smiled. A BIG huge smile. One of those smiles that just screams EVIL. "Let's go." he said suddenly going back to being his Zexiony self, or rather his Zexiony RIKU self, full of angst and emo-ness. Demyx sighed and got up and began to follow his superior again. They kept walking, Zexion occasionally striking a random Heartless or Nobody that just also happened to be wondering around aimlessly, until at last, they came upon their first obstacle in their adventure, which, in the game, would be a boss battle. Unfortunately, said boss was very inebriated, naked, and laid spread eagle in their path. Now, knowing the structure of the Castle that Never Was and knowing that the said hallways our heroes were trekking in were VERY large, one might think if you see a fellow comrade in the obvious position of self loathing like the one the two gazed upon, all you would simply do is walk around said comrade and leave the problem for the others to deal with, but with Zexion in character as Riku, that could simply not be called for.

"ATTACK!" he yelled and began pummeling the naked member (Organization member, not THAT! Get your mind out of the gutter people!) repeatedly with his quite well make Way to the Dawn Keyblade. "Come on! Help me out SORA!" Demyx sighed and gave the little yells Sora usually made when striking things, beating the naked mass as well. Once Zexion believed they were finished, he smirked and began walking off, collecting the objects around the area, which consisted of chewing gum, some Munny, and tape. Demyx stayed back and looked at the pathetic mass of Nobody on the floor. "Sorry." he whispered and ran to catch up to Zexion.

An hour later, Vexen slowly got up, wincing when he realized he had several cuts and bruises on his body. "That is the LAST time I will accidentally mix up my chemicals with my alcohol!" He paused then groaned. "Who are you kidding Vexen? You'll never learn to label things." He sighed, got up, slowly, because he was beaten and looked around gasping when he realized. "Where's my gum, Munny, and tape!" He began to run in the direction Zexion and Demyx had gone an hour earlier after kicking his drunken ass. By the way, did I also mention he's still QUITE naked?

Zexion and Demyx were still roaming the halls when, to their surprise, heard a noise coming from one of the many rooms occupying said hall they were in. "Come Sora, let's check it out!" Zexion held his Keyblade up in the air and charged to the room that the noise was coming from. "Uh, Zexy…Riku, let's not go there!" Demyx yelled. Demyx actually was surveying the surroundings and realized that said room that the noise was coming from was owned by an Organization member. The same member that just until yesterday had made Demyx polished all his crystal dream catchers for a month because Demyx broke his favorite one. Demyx quite didn't want to see said member so soon. He looked at Zexion's charging back and groaned, following along, realizing he may not be recognized in the ridiculous outfit we was wearing.

Saix was busy. Too busy. Extremely busy. So busy that if two of his fellow Organization members were to barge in wearing, for some strange reason, costumes of the two enemies of their group, he would be too busy to notice they were said members and immediately think that they WERE the two enemies they needed to destroy. And this, my friends, is exactly what happened. Saix was busy polishing his dream catchers that up until yesterday, Demyx was cleaning. The boy didn't do a very good job and Saix was glad the month was over. To tell the truth, he wasn't really wanting to go through the punishment, but Xemnas insisted. Saix sighed. He was in for a long time. Good thing the Superior decided to go on vacation.

"Die, you Nobody!" A yell, that sounded familiar for some reason, brought him out of his daydream. He looked up to see Riku and Sora standing in HIS room, looking for a fight. "You!" he blurted out. He immediately dodged the incoming Keyblade being thrown at him and quickly ran to his closet where he rummaged around and found what he was looking for. Quickly he held up the item and transformed. After what seemed like a thirty second transformation, complete with preppy power up music I must add, Saix stepped up to the two Keyblade bearers. "I am Pretty Soldier Saix Moon and in the name of the Kingdom Hearts moon, I shall punish you!" he yelled. Said Saix Moon was wearing, you guessed it, a sailor suit.

After stopping Demyx from gouging out his eyes, Zexion smirked. "We know your secrets Saix Moon. You shall never defeat us!" and with that statement, Zexion smashed one of the dream catchers on the table. "Nooooooo! Monica! How dare you!" Saix Moon lunged to the two but was stopped when he slipped on one of his beloved dream catchers and fell on the ground, hard. "That was easy! Two down!" Zexion smiled and walked out, carrying with him, one of Saix's dream catchers Demyx for sure knew was named Phoebe.

Vexen continued his naked pursuit of whoever stole his precious items when he saw that the door to Saix's room was open. He walked in to find Saix, in a sailor suit, crying, clutching a broken dream catcher in his hands. "Saix…Moon…are you okay?" Vexen queried. He, for unknown reasons, knew that when Saix was in this costume, he liked to be called Saix Moon. Saix Moon sniffed. Riku and Sora are in the castle Vexen and they SMASHED Monica and kidnapped Phoebeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" He broke out in tears yet again. Vexen sighed. "They must be the ones that stole my stuff as well! We'll get them! Come on." "No. Not with you wearing that!" Vexen looked down and finally discovered he was indeed quite naked. "Don't worry I have just the thing!" Saix threw a rose to Vexen, who caught it and transformed. When the music and brilliant lights faded, Vexen realized he was wearing a tuxedo. "You're now known as Tuxedo Vexen!" Saix Moon cheered.

The two walked out of the room. Tuxedo Vexen smirked an evil yet surprisingly charming smirk. "Mark my words Riku and Sora, you're going down!"

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Whooo! First chapter down. Yay! You can now review your pretty little heads off. Not really. If you did, you couldn't read my stories and I would be sad.

Anywho about some stuff. Yes, Marluxia for once is right. I was at level 99 when I beat him. Yes I'm pathetic. I was also at level 99 every time I beat the first and second PS2 games as well. Talk about overkill.

I HATE Sailor Moon. We all used to be in to it when we were younger, but only our Larxene is into it now, hence why I made fun of it. Demyx said I should have used her instead of Saix but since our Saix is dating our Larxene, I decided to kill two birds with one stone and make fun of them both. It's not like they will read this anyway. Besides our Saix and Vexen like to go out drinking together and Saix has seen Vexen naked. (Note: when they were kids. My sis (Vexen) and (Saix) were best friends growing up. They've seen everything! Oh and the fact we're cousins.)

Eep. I better go. I see Vexen is lurking around. I hope she doesn't see this. She'll kill me.

So review.


	2. The Plot Thickens

**ADVENTURES IN COSPLAY**

Chapter 2 : the plot thickens

In the last episode of AIC Zexion and Demyx dressed as Riku and Sora strike mayhem in the depths of the castle provoking Saix and Vexen to chase them.

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The scene: an 18th century gothic style room, candles are everywhere and faintly you hear the soundtrack from Beauty and the Beast playing. I said faintly. Because the whipping is drowning out the beautiful song of Belle and Beast finding out that there's something there that wasn't there before. The cackling of the person doing the whipping isn't helping either….

"Larxene, can we just call it a day? I'm really sorry for barging in on you in the shower, but I'm going to be late for work and…" "Shut it Xaldin! If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen and if you can't be late, then don't barge in on me!" Larxene cackled yet again as she whipped Xaldin one more time. "There I'm done." she smiles and drops the whip. She turns to the CD player and turns the music up, just in time to hear her favorite song about being someone's guest. She begins to dance around, singing the words, dancing in her homemade Belle ballroom dress.

Xaldin wearily gets up, takes off the Beast costume Larxene made him wear and put on his Wendy's uniform, dark portaled out of there and made his way to his part time job. He failed to realize, however, that his time card wasn't with him…

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Two cloaked figures made their ways through the halls of the Castle That Never Was. To the rest of the Organization, they were Zexion and Demyx, Numbers 6 and 9 respectively. Their companion with them, dressed in white, would be their mutual friend and fellow Nobody, Naminé. However, this was not the case. As we all know, the REAL Zexion and Demyx were dressed like Riku and Sora and were roaming the same halls on a different floor with Saix Moon and Tuxedo Vexen hot on their trail. These imposters however were…..

"Riku! These robes are HOT!" Sora grumbled as they made their way through the castle. Riku whipped around, his one visible eye staring angrily at Sora. "Shut up! Do you want to get our cover blown? The only reason we're doing this is to finally defeat the Organization so quit whining!" "But why do YOU get to be Zexion?" "Because I have the hair for it, I've met the actual Zexion and know his personality, and Demyx is on a constant happy high like you." Sora pouted. "You're too TALL to be Zexion." Riku smirked at Sora. "I had a growth spurt, DEMYX." Naminé, or we should say Kairi as it was Kairi and not Naminé, laughed at the too boys as they continued to argue, unawares they were being followed…..

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Demyx had to admit, Zexion was REALLY good at making plans. He WAS known as The Cloaked Schemer after all. Upon realizing Saix and Vexen were indeed following them, Zexion had developed a trap involving the said items the two were missing and a large hole. They set the trap and left it while they continued on their way.

Saix Moon sniffed the air. "I smell…Phoebe!" he smiled and ran down the hallway where said dream catcher was hanging in the air along with Tuxedo Vexen's precious items. Tuxedo Vexen ran after him and of course as soon as they grabbed the items, they fell in the hole. "Damn Sora and Riku! I will kill you both!" Tuxedo Vexen started yelling cussing along the way.

"Looks like you two need help." a gruff voice said above them. They both looked up and saw Lexaeus looking at the two of them. "Uh, yeah. Help us out." Tuxedo Vexen grumbled. "Say the magic word." Lexaeus grinned. "Pweeese?" Saix Moon did the puppy dog pout. "That's the one." Lexaeus summoned his weapon and the two grabbed onto it. He pulled them out like it was nothing.

The three, careful not to fall in the hole again, made their way through the hall. "So let me get this straight, Riku and Sora have infiltrated the sanctity of our humble abode and are reeking havoc throughout the place and you want me to help." "That would be the case." Tuxedo Vexen mused. Lexaeus sighed. "Stand back." He then began grunting and yelling and he began glowing. Soon, his muscles were more ripped, his hair was sticking even more up and blonde, and he was wearing a bright orange uniform. "Call me Super Saiyan Lexaeus." he grinned.

Meanwhile Zexion and Demyx were walking down a funny stretch of hallway that was painted in weird colors. "Where are we?" Demyx whined. "To get our third member of this group. Just a short bit ago I noticed strange scents and determined Riku, Sora, and Kairi are in the building dressed up as us and now we need to even the odds." Zexion said as he knocked on the only door in this hallway. A girl, looking eerily like Kairi answered it.

"Good. You're here. I've just made the finishing touches on the drawings." Namine grinned. "Namine? That's you?" Demyx asked incredulously. "Yep. Good thing I look like Kairi, being her Nobody and all." She snapped her fingers. Three drawings lifted up and began to flutter, taking shape as….. A REALLY bad rendition of Donald, Goofy, and King Mickey. Demyx stared at them in shock. "Those are…" he began. "A good idea in case we happen to run into the real Riku, Sora and Kairi." Zexion said matter of factly. Demyx just shook his head.

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"How the fuck do you call a damn guitar a weapon?" Sora kept grumbling, holding the very well made replica of Demyx's sitar. "It's a SITAR! If you can't even get the name of your own damn weapon right, then why the hell are you in the Organization?" Riku shouted. "Because I'm NOT IN THE DAMN ORGANIZATION! I'M JUST DOING THIS BECAUSE YOU WANTED ME TO COME WITH YOU AND HAD I KNOWN YOU WERE GOING TO PULL THIS DRESS UP SHIT ON ME LIKE SOME FUCKING GAY FRUIT, I WOULDN'T HAVE COME!" Sora yelled so loud that it was bound to draw the attention of at least half a dozen of the REAL members of the Organization.

Too bad it did alert one, the one following them. "Well little dude, can't believe the great Sora could get mad." The three kids turned around to find Xigbar standing there chuckling. "Great job! You blew our cover dipshit!" Riku growled. "I did not, you damn mother fucker!" Xigbar chuckled as the two boys continued their name calling until he put a stop to it just as Sora was doing the ultimate of name calling. "Barbara Streisand with Elton John and Phil Collins in the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat with Michael Bolton and the cast of Hairspray cleaning up after while the cast of RENT and Cats are watching eating popcorn and blurting out tunes to The Rocky Horror Picture Show!"

"Hey dudes, no more name calling now. And I won't tell on you if you do me a favor." "What?" Riku looked at him suspiciously . Xigbar grinned and handed them a camera. "See Larxene likes Disney…a lot. Only Xaldin has seen Larxene in her costumes of the characters she makes and I would love to see it. Trouble is Larxene doesn't talk about doing it and Xaldin's so fucking in love with her that he won't take any pictures. I want you to sneak in and take pictures of her in those costumes."

The three weighed their options. Finally Riku grabbed the camera. "We'll do it." Xigbar grinned. "Good. Just watch out for Marluxia's pets. He's got some strange ones." The three kids walked the direction Xigbar told them to go. He chuckled. "The plot thickens doesn't it master?" Said master Xigbar was talking too walked up. Fully dressed in dark clothing, the master spoke, "Yes, I've got Lexaeus joined up with Saix and Vexen while they are chasing Zexion, Demyx and now Namine. Oh yes, this will be very interesting once the pieces fall into place."

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I end it here. So sorry Axel, Roxas, Marluxia and Luxord are not in this one. They will be next chapter though. I've got PLANS for them. Muhahaha, I'm evil.

This actually took longer to write than I thought. My friend that moved away came in for a few weeks and we are trying to do as much as we can with her before she goes back.

And about the ultimate name calling line, my friends and I actually say that, because of the fact we all LOVE Broadway musicals. And come on, it IS a pretty bad line.

And Riku fans….FORGIVE ME! I did not mean to call him a gay fruit. I have nothing against gay people and hopefully no one will be offended by the statement. I actually let my two gay friends read this to see if they were offended and they weren't so if you are, I apologize RIGHT NOW so do not give me a bad review saying I'm insensitive about gays, because I'm not.

Well, look forward to next chapter and don't forget to review.


	3. What ARE you Talking About

**ADVENTURES IN COSPLAY**

**PART 3: What ARE you talking about?**

In our last installment we learned Larxene likes Disney, Sora doesn't want to be Demyx, Zexion and Demyx along with Namine are STILL being followed by Saix Moon and Tuxedo Vexen along with Super Saiyan Lexaeus and Xigbar answers to yet another mysterious leader named The Master.

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There were three things that made Axel's day. They were, in no particular order, Jesse McCartney, Roxas, and Roxas dressing up like Jesse McCartney. It didn't help matters none that Roxas was a DAMN fine singer too. It also didn't help that Roxas was also a HUGE Pirates of the Caribbean fan, or that he was dressed in a pirate outfit, or the fact he was singing A Pirate's Life for Me over and over and over…..

"Yo Ho, Yo Ho, A Pirate's Life for MEEEEEEEEEE!" Roxas merrily sang, whilst swinging to and fro on a rope that just happened to be in the room Roxas and Axel randomly chose for no apparent reason that day. Axel just sat on the floor, looking up at the swinging Roxas and sighed as he let Roxas' sweet voice wash over him like a springtime breeze. Once Roxas was finished with the song, Axel leapt up and joined Roxas in his swashbuckling exercises, which meant that Axel was going to fuck Roxas' brains out…

….Well he WOULD have, had Luxord not barged in the room. "Roxas, Axel, we have an emergency and…why does this room look like a pirate ship?" Luxord scanned the room, resting his eyes on the two "pirates." "Dunno, gramps. Why do YOU look like a Lord of the Rings reject?" Axel smirked. Luxord huffed and slammed the bottom of the cane he was holding on the ground. "I am NOT a LotR reject! This is the official Gandolf the White Cosplay costume! Anyway, we have an emergency! Sora, Riku and Kairi are here and we need to get rid of them." "Why should we help you?" Roxas growled. Luxord looked at Axel and smirked. "No more J Mac for you if Xemnas gets wind. He'll never leave the castle again." Axel's eyes widened. "What do we need to do?" he grumbled. "Just help Vexen and the others chase them into the grand ballroom. We'll take it from there."

Axel and Roxas turned to leave when Luxord grabbed them by the shoulders. "You need disguises…better ones than those. Put these on." A few minutes later Axel stepped out. "You GOT to be kidding me." he grumbled as he passed a hand through his hair, stopping at the ponytail. "Do I really look THAT much like Reno? I mean I know we have the same character designer, we're from the same company and both our voice actors are the same in the English and Japanese versions, but COME ON PEOPLE! We're TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE!" Axel turns to the audience and shakes his head. "You people disgust me."

"Big sword! WHEEEEEEEEEEE!" Roxas leapt from behind a curtain, wearing, you guessed it, Cloud's Advent Children outfit. "Why does HE get to have a big fucking sword?" "Cuz I'm a main character, I'm a main character…" Roxas gleefully sang as he danced around, still wielding the giant sword. "Whatever. Just don't start hallucinating about a girl dressed in pink in a field of flowers during a big fight scene got it?"

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Riku, Sora and Kairi had just made their way to the top floor of the castle. Those who lived on the top floor could only be described as…well…to put it plainly…just plain fucked up. I pause a moment in the story to explain the situation of rooming in The Castle That Never Was. There were four main floors where the residents of said castle lived, three on each floor minus Xemnas, who lived in his study way off in a completely, except for him, unexplored and unmapped part of the castle and Namine, whose weird come-to-life drawings just creeped everyone out. The twelve remaining members lived in the four floors. The bottom floor consisted of Vexen, Xigbar, and Lexaeus, who were the most level headed of the rest and therefore wanted to stay closer to the ground. Personally, Vexen was scared of heights and only truly worked in his lab to remedy that. The other two just wanted to be closer to the earth, Lexaeus wanted to practice his powers and Xigbar found it easier to find things to shoot.

The next floor consisted of the Nobodies that no one, no pun intended, could understand. Our heroes Zexion and Demyx, as well as Roxas lived on this floor. Knowing what we know now of their personalities, one could assume that they would know where I'm coming from. The next floor was the floor for wayward Nobodies that included Xaldin, Axel and Luxord. Their completely differated ideas set them apart from the others, because, well, they didn't quite fit a group.

The last group, I'm sorry to say, the TOP floor was the Nobodies who were just plain fucked up in the head as I mentioned previously. They consisted of Saix, Larxene and Marluxia. The top floor was their domain, their sanctuary, the place where many would enter but none would leave. Whether it be getting caught in one of Larxene's Disney "fantasies", Marluxia's little pets, which were NOT little, or just catching Saix in a bad mood, or that time of the month for that matter, No ONE and I repeat, NO ONE, got out alive, or well rather, if they did, they were never sane again. Before I continue on, I will inform the reader that by no one, I meant beings other than the Organization members, because, well to put it bluntly, no one else had the "heart" for their little playtime other than their comrades, no pun intended. Now that you've had your history lesson for the day, back to the story….

"So this is where Larxene is supposed to be?" Sora grumbled, dragging the sitar behind him. It was, after all, quite heavy. Riku turned around. "For the last time, YES, and quit dragging your sitar! Do you know how long I had to make that?" "Don't make it so heavy then, fuckwad." "I can make it as heavy as I want, Muggle." "HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A MUGGLE!" Kairi gently walked to the nearest wall and sat down. "There they go again." she sighed.

Unfortunately for them, Riku and Sora didn't get to make it to the Ultimate Name Calling line as they heard a ferocious roar. The three stopped what they were doing as giant footsteps came closer and closer to them. "Holy shit." was all Sora could say as he looked into the eyes of the creature that found them. It opened its mouth and…..

……began singing. "I love you, you love me. We're a happy family….." "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the three screamed. "BARNEY? I thought that thing was dead!" Sora yelled as they were being chased through the hall, the said purple dinosaur running after them. Unfortunately for them, common law of construction still worked in the castle and soon they were backed into a dead end. As the creature of immense terror was about to pounce upon them, the three heard the sound of their savior.

"AVADA KEDAVRA!" A green blast hit Barney and he, well, you know, died. A figure in a black robe walked up to them. "Too bad I had to kill him, he was one of my favorite torture devices. Oh well." The figure yanked off his hood to reveal….Marluxia! Dun dun da da! Marluxia walked over to the three and grinned. "Sorry about that. Usually I can catch them quickly when they escape, but for some reason, it took me a while to find him. You wore him down though so I'll thank you for that, and I won't unleash the other ones on you as my thanks." "Uh, don't mention it." Riku laughed grimly, as they tried sneaking away.

In one quick move, Marluxia had the three pinned back to the wall. "Now if I may so kindly ask, who are you? I know you're not actually Zexion, Demyx, and Namine. First of all, Zexion is shorter, Demyx loves his sitar more than nonexistent life itself, and Namine won't just calmly sit down. Plus the fact that you said Muggle. I know for a fact that no one but me likes Harry Potter in this damn castle so who are you?" The three fidgeted, darting their eyes looking for an exit. Marluxia sighed and backed away. "I already told you I'm not going to kill you so you have nothing to fear." Riku sighed. "It's Riku, Sora and Kairi. We were sneaking in here to finally defeat you all, but now we have to take pictures of Larxene in her Disney costumes so Xigbar won't tell everyone we're here."

Marluxia hmmed. "That's too bad. No one usually survives on the top floor but fellow Organization members. Looking at you three, it's a good thing I found you than Saix or Larxene. They're mental. I'll help you guys out because one, I would also like to see those pictures, just because of the fact that I'm in the room next door to her, two, I'm pissed off at everyone for not letting me redecorate this appalling monotone shit hole we live in, three, to get on the good side of the readers by helping the heroes, even though you're not really the heroes, the ones you're playing are, in this story, four, I'm getting paid to do it, and five, because I already know how this story turns out and the author threatened to kill me five times in a row in Chain of Memories if I didn't go along with what she wrote me in to do."

Marluxia led them to his room, where he served them some very delicious tea, I must say. While they were having their snack, Marluxia told them all that had happened in the story thus far. "So the three we're playing are playing us and everyone else, in costume, is trying to catch them." Riku replied once they heard the story. "Yep. That's pretty much it." "Well, that being the case, who are you supposed to be?" Kairi asked sweetly. "Duh, that should be pretty obvious. I'm a Death Eater from Harry Potter." Marluxia beamed. "Not much of a change if you ask me. I thought you would be someone more….you know…gayer…" Sora blankly said. Marluxia blinked. "I'm not…gay. Why does everyone think that? Kurama from Yu Yu Hakusho uses flowers, other guys in anime use flowers, but no one thinks they're right off the bat gay so why is it just me? I mean, I DID have a MANLY voice in Chain of Memories. Geez, people can be so insensitive."

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Meanwhile, Zexion, Demyx, and Namine began to wander around in the basement of the castle. Upon finding an abandoned Christmas tree (why it was in the castle perplexed the hell out of them) they decided to play another prank on their pursuers. Namine ordered the cracked looking Mickey, Donald, and Goofy to stand beside the tree while Zexion placed bags and bags of flour, glue, and chicken feathers around the tree in conveniently placed positions so their enemies would land straight into them. As Demyx helped him, he wondered if Zexion based these ideas on that Home Alone movie.

Soon the trap was ready and the three skipped off leaving the trap. Just about the time they left, Saix Moon, Tuxedo Vexen, and Super Saiyan Lexaeus ran in, only, you guessed it, to be tricked with the badly drawn Disney characters and get covered in glue, flour, and chicken feathers. "That's it! I'm gonna rip their hearts out and give them to Superior for his birthday, then I'll rip each appendage off of them, tie them in a yellow rental truck, packed in with fertilizer and fuel oil and push them over a fucking cliff!" T. Vexen yelled, ranting on. While Saix M. was watching T. Vexen's outburst song and dance number, S.S. Lexaeus began talking in a weird box thing. "The mission is going according to plan master."

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Sorry our main characters weren't in this a lot. The next chapter will have them a lot in it though so don't worry.

And now for something different…

On the next episode of Adventures in Cosplay, our heroes find themselves trapped in the crazed world of Disney franchises. Can they escape? Our anti heroes find themselves locked in a battle of what is better, Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings? What ARE Roxas and Axel doing? And who is this mysterious master?

Find out next time….

Meh. Reviewses. Pweeese.


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